


hanahaki for hanamaki

by sleepingincemeteries



Series: matsuhana hell [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hanahaki Disease, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, POV Matsukawa Issei, i'm in matsuhana hell pls help, im sorry to mattsun for making you suffer, minor iwaoi - Freeform, no beta we die like men, written in the middle of the night so don’t expect quality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepingincemeteries/pseuds/sleepingincemeteries
Summary: Here’s the list of things that Issei knew:Number one, he was a third-year at Seijoh as well as a middle blocker for the boys’ volleyball team.Number two, he had a younger sister who loved to annoy the shit out of him, an older sister who was practically his mom, and a father who was home so little he almost forgot they were related.And number three, he was insanely, hopelessly gay for Hanamak Takahiro.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei
Series: matsuhana hell [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836541
Comments: 10
Kudos: 107





	hanahaki for hanamaki

**Author's Note:**

> There are two slurs in the story as well as mention of blood and death. You have been warned.

Here’s the list of things that Issei knew: 

Number one, he was a third-year at Seijoh as well as a middle blocker for the boys’ volleyball team. 

Number two, he had a younger sister who loved to annoy the shit out of him, an older sister who was practically his mom, and a father who was home so little he almost forgot they were related. 

And number three, he was insanely, hopelessly gay for Hanamak Takahiro. 

* * *

As a child, Issei never understood why anyone could marry a girl. His older sister, Chiharu, told him that he would change his mind when he was older. His younger sister, Aiko told him that girls were better than boys because boys had cooties. Chiharu had to separate them before Issei could choke her and Aiko could stab his eye out with a crayon. When he was thirteen, he still didn’t understand his classmates as they talked about the girls they liked and the dreams they had. When Issei voiced this to Chiharu, who was in college at the time, she looked him straight in the eye and asked him if he liked guys. After considering it for a moment, Issei shrugged. Chiharu told him not to tell anyone if he did, especially not dad. 

A few months later Issei came across a group of boys beating up another boy, calling him names like “faggot” and “queer”. Issei decided not to tell anyone that he preferred guys to girls if he had to pick. 

When he was 14, Aiko marched into his room and declared that she was a lesbian. Issei looked up at her, shrugged, said “okay”, and went back to his game. 

“What do you mean okay?” 

“I mean okay, cool, close the door on the way out.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be mad or something?” 

“No, that’d be hypocritical to be mad at you for being gay. Do you want me to be?” 

“Wait, you’re gay?” 

Issei shrugged and that was that. When he was fifteen, he met Hanamaki. 

* * *

The day he met Hanamaki he also met Oikawa and Iwaizumi. They were all first years at Seijoh and trying out for the volleyball team.

The most memorable part of that day was not that he met Hanamaki, no it was how Oikawa introduced himself to Issei. 

“Hi, I’m gay. Wait-fuck-” 

He still hasn’t lived that down.

* * *

If there’s one thing Issei can actually say his father taught him, it would be volleyball. His father used to play professionally until an injury in his knee caused him to stop playing and go into business in an attempt to make a stable life for his eldest daughter and pregnant wife. A few months later, Issei was born. 

When Issei was four, his father decided to teach him volleyball. While Issei didn’t really like the sport, he allowed his father to teach and play with him as it was the only time he saw his father happy. He even joined a kids’ team. 

At age six, he played in his first game. His father didn’t show up. 

* * *

Issei can’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell in love with Hanamaki but if he had to choose one it would have to be when Oikawa dragged them to a flower viewing festival in their second year. Issei wasn’t a huge fan of flowers, not after his mother died of Hanahaki disease when he was six, but he allowed Oikawa to drag him along on the promise of free food. So the quartet, him, Hanamaki, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi (they had been practically inseparable since they first met) went and sat among all of the other people there to see the cherry blossoms. 

At one point, Issei offered to go get drinks (to be paid for by Oikawa) (Issei stole his wallet and he still hadn’t noticed) and Hanamaki went with him. As they stood in line to get drinks, Hanamaki confessed that he didn’t want to be stuck third-wheeling. Issei laughed and said that the two needed to hurry up and get together or they would all be suffocated by the amount of sexual tension between them. 

They took a long route back. At one point, Issei looked up from his phone to see Hanamaki, pink hair ruffled from running his hands through it, soft white-pink sakura blossoms floating down around him. Issei’s heart skipped a beat and he thought, “fuck. I’m a cliche.” 

* * *

When Issei was five, his father drew away from his family and threw himself into his work. His mother, who met his father when they were in their early 20s and narrowly avoided death by Hanahaki disease, fell ill. It took several months before Issei walked in on her coughing up whole, bloody flowers. After that, it was only a matter of days before she died. His father didn’t even attend the funeral, saying he was too busy with his work. 

Ever since then, Issei hated roses with a passion. Specifically white ones. The ones that symbolize his mother’s love and devotion to his father. It was only a matter of months before Issei started hating his father too. 

* * *

Issei always knew he had the seeds of those lie-killing flowers. He had never really cared before. Sure he had a crush on a celebrity that went away within a week like everyone did but he had never fallen in love. He could pretend to be normal so he did. 

* * *

No one really knows the science behind the Hanahaki disease. A disease born of unrequited love that causes flowers to grow in your lungs makes no sense from a medical standpoint. And yet there are still procedures to remove the deadly plants and the feeling that caused them to grow. 

It’s likely the fault of Hanahaki that caused Chiharu to become a doctor. Ever since their mother died from it when she was in her early teens, she had been fascinated with it and flowers. She was dead set on figuring out the innermost workings of the disease and when Chiharu puts her mind to something, chances are that she gets what she wants. Then again her motivation is also likely to have sprung from their father’s claims that Hanahaki disease does not exist and their mother died from tuberculosis, despite the evidence that says otherwise. 

* * *

The first time Issei coughed up petals, one petal is more accurate, he stared blankly down at it before throwing it away and pushing down his feelings. And somehow it worked (blame Matsukawa stubbornness, another thing he can credit to his father) and for almost a year he didn’t see any more petals. 

The came back shortly before the final match of the Interhigh-Preliminaries. 

Aiko finds him coughing up flowers in his bedroom in the middle of July. 

“You know, originally I came in here to ask if I could borrow your PSP, but I think this is more important.” 

“Fuck off,” Issei snaps weakly. 

“Nah, you’re stuck with me.” She leans over and picks up a flower petal. “Ew. Slimy.” 

“They’re rose petals.”  _ Like Mom’s _ is left unsaid. 

“They remind of that boy you’re always hanging out with’s hair.” Issei avoids her gaze. “Oh my god! Ei-chan!” She squeals, bouncing onto his bed. 

“Get off.” 

“My little Ei-chan’s all grown up!”

“I’m older than you.” 

“Normally I’d say we’d have to tell Chiharu and Dad but…” She trails off. “Anyways, you should confess.” 

“No. Besides if I ignore it, it’ll go away.” 

Aiko fixes him with a glare. “Issei, you fucking idiot.” 

“Watch your language.” 

“Hypocrite.” 

“I’m older.” 

“By like a year and a half.” 

“Respect your elders.” 

“Okay old man.” 

Issei puts her into a headlock as Aiko elbows him. The two scuffle for a moment before Aiko says, “I have a crush on this girl.” 

“Don’t fall in love with her.” 

“No promises.” They sit in silence. “You should tell him.” 

“And you should get out of my room.” 

“Ass.” 

“You are what you eat.” 

“And you are disgusting.” 

“Look in the mirror sweetheart.” Aiko flips him off and leaves. Issei sighs and scowls down at the flowers in his trash can. 

Fucking roses. The same color as Hanamaki’s hair. Trust and happiness. God, he hates roses. 

* * *

It took months for anyone else to figure it out, which Issei supposes he should be proud of. But it’s not a good thing to be able to keep a secret from your best friends and family, is it? Surprisingly, they only found out on New Year’s Day when he and the other third years went to the shrine. 

A sudden coughing fit later, Issei had a handful of pink rose petals in his hands and his friends staring at him in a sort of horror. 

“Fuck.” 

“Mattsun!” Unsurprisingly, Oikawa is the first to speak up. “Who is it?” 

Issei ignores him in favor of throwing the petals away and wiping his hand on his jeans. 

“How long have you been coughing up petals?” Iwaizumi, always the dependable one. Issei shrugs. 

“Who’s the lucky girl Mattsun?” 

“Look, can we stop talking about it?” Issei tugs a hand through his hair. Oikawa starts to say something but Iwaisui cuffs him on the back of his head. Issei locks eyes with Hanamaki who has been strangely silent for this whole exchange. 

_ We’ll talk later. _ Hanamaki’s eyes clearly say. Issei looks away, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

_ There’s nothing to talk about. It’s just a crush. It’ll go away. _

* * *

Despite Issei avoiding Hanamaki for the rest of their winter break, clearly not wanting to talk about it, Hanamaki shows up at his doorstep. Aiko lets him in and smirks at Issei before disappearing to her room, muttering something about headphones. 

The pair sits quietly in Issei’s room for a while. 

“Who is it?” Hanamaki finally asks. 

Issei shrugs. “It doesn’t matter. It’ll go away.” 

“How long have you had it?” Issei doesn’t answer. “How long, Eyebrows?” 

“Not long.” 

“Don’t lie to me.” 

Issei studies Hanamaki’s face. He is unusually serious. “I’ve been regularly coughing up petals since July.” 

Hanamaki’s eyes widen. “And before that?” 

Issei is silent, considering lying for a moment before telling the truth. “Just once almost a year earlier.” 

“Shit.” Yeah, that’’s a pretty accurate statement. “Who else knows?” 

“Just you, Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Aiko.” 

“Are you going to confess?” 

Issei shrugs. “Nah.” 

“So you’re going to get it removed then?” 

“Nope.” 

Hanamaki’s eyes light up in anger. “What the fuck dude? Why not?” 

“Chiharu has been studying Hanahaki so I might as well give her more data.” 

“But she doesn't know.” 

“She will. When I die.” 

Hanamaki suddenly stands up, grasping Issei’s collar and pulling him up slightly. “You idiot! Don’t talk like that!” Issei’s eyes widened at the new side of his friend. They stay in that position for a few moments before Hanamaki lets go. “My cousin died from Hanahaki. He didn’t tell anyone and kept it a secret. My aunt and uncle were inconsolable for months afterward. Think about what this will do to your family.” 

“Chiharu will grieve for a week or so then dissect me, my father won’t care enough to go to the funeral, and Aiko will gladly take over my room.” 

Hanamaki looks down at him sadly. “What about the team?” 

“I’m not the best player anyways. And besides, we’re graduating.” 

“What about me?” Hanamaki whispers the words so quietly, Issei hardly hears them. 

“What?” 

“I have to go.” Issei chases him to the front door. 

“Makki. Hiro. What’s wrong?” 

“You’re throwing your life away for your stupid pride!” He shouts. 

“You think this is about my pride?” Issei blinks in shock. 

“You won’t admit you’re in love. You won’t have it removed.” 

“Why should I?” 

“So you can live?” 

“No one cares anyway if I live or die.” 

“The team would! Oikawa and Iwaizumi would-” 

“They'd get over it-” 

“I would!” 

They both fall silent at the declaration. Hanamaki’s chest is heaving and Issei is standing stone still. “Would you-” 

“Issei, I convinced Dad to- oh hello Hanamaki-kun.” Chiharu pens the door, their father standing behind her, looking upset at having been pulled away from his work. “Would you like to stay for dinner?” 

“No, I was just leaving.” Hanamaki slips past her, out the door. 

“Hiro.” Issei reaches after him. 

Hanamaki stops, halfway to the street. He turns around. “You know what Matsukawa.” Issei flinches at the formality. “No one would care, not even me, so you might as well throw your life away.” He spins around and storms off. Issei stares after him. 

“What was that about Issei?” His father asks him. Issei doesn’t answer. 

“Issei! You’re crying!” Issei reaches up. Sure enough, he is. “Issei-” 

“Welcome home Dad, Chiharu.” He turns around and practically runs to his room. 

* * *

Two weeks later, Issei coughs up a whole rose. He puts it on his father’s desk. He’s never home anyway. He calls in sick to school. 

* * *

Two days later, Issei is laying on his bed, playing on his PSP like always. Aiko was over at a friends house for a sleepover, Chiharu was at her own house with her fiance, and his father, like always, was at work. He pauses the game, launching into another coughing fit. A bloody rose lands in his palm. Downstairs, the doorbell rings. Issei stands up, crushing the flower in his hand, moving to answer the door. He opens it to see Oiwawa and Iwaizumi with a guilty-looking Hanamaki between them. He closes the door and goes back upstairs. Ten minutes later, the other three have broken in (used the spare key) and joined him. 

“Hi,” Issei says flatly as they look at either him (Iwaizumi), the floor (Hanamaki), or his room (Oikawa). 

“Jeez Mattsun, do you know what a vacuum cleaner is?” Oikawa jokes. Issei shrugs and drops the rose to the floor to join the others he was too lazy to clean up. 

“What is this? An intervention?” 

“Yes,” Iwaizumi says flatly. “Get off your ass and either confess or get it removed.” 

“Hmm. No.” Issei breaks into another coughing fit. 

“We’re going to go make you tea!” Oikawa exclaims, dragging Iwaizumi with him. “Keep an eye on him Makki!” They close the door behind them, leaving the two in silence beside Issei’s coughing. Once he coughs up another bloody rose, Hanamaki speaks up. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that stuff.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not.” Hanamaki sticks his hands into his pockets. “Please tell me who it is.” 

“No.” 

“Is… Is it me?” Issei chokes, sending himself into another fit. “It is, isn’t it?” 

“Fuck. How did you know?” 

Hanamaki points to one of the flowers. “They are the same color as my hair.” 

Issei sighs, rubbing his throat. “So… Now you know. What are you going to do?” 

Hanamaki reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bunch of crushed red petals. Issei raises an eyebrow. “These are for you. They’re red poppies.” 

Issei is silent, staring at the petals. “How long?” 

“A few months.” 

Issei lets out a humorless laugh and falls backward onto his pillow, his arms covering his eyes. “We’re such idiots.” 

“Yep.” Hanamaki’s smile is clear in his voice as he drops the petals to join the others on the ground and sits down next to Issei. “What are we going to do now?” 

Issei takes his hands off his face and looks at Hanamaki. He sits up slightly. “This.” And then he grabs Hanamaki and pulls him down on top of him and kisses him. 

Hanamaki laughs against his lips. “Fuck. You are such a top.” 

Issei winks. “You know it, babe.” 

Hanamaki laughs and kisses him again. “I like you, ya know.” 

“Well I’d certainly hope so, you did just kiss me.” 

“You’re supposed to say it back.” 

Issei wraps his arms around Hanamaki’s waist and kisses him again. “I don’t hate you.” 

“Idiot.” 

“Fine, fine, I like you too babe.” Issei kisses his nose and smiles and he feels Hanamaki practically melt. 

“I’m pissed. We could have been doing this sooner.” 

Issei laughs. “God. We’re idiots.” 

“Yeah. You know, I’ll be fine if I never have to see another rose or poppy in my life.” 

“Ditto,” Issei sighs. “God. I hate flowers.” 

**Author's Note:**

> So now that I've written this I have only ten bazillion things left to do including Blue Eyes (I honestly don't know if I'll even bother finishing that one), an Assassination Classroom sitcom, and another matsuhana story I've had an idea for. Has anyone read Stranger than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer? (If not then go read it) But I had an idea after reading that to make a matsuhana fic (with iwaoi ofc) where they go on a roadtrip. Who knows if I'll actually write it. 
> 
> I might make this into a series of one shots with matsuhana as the focus but seriously, don't count on me for anything. 
> 
> Feel free to leave comments and kudos! I really enjoy it when I get them and they encourage me to write more. 
> 
> [Tumblr](https://sleepingincemeteries13.tumblr.com)


End file.
